My Cup Overflows

Psalm 23:4-6 (NASB) says
⁴ Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
⁶ Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

This morning as I was making breakfast burritos before my husband went off to work, I glanced over at my bowl of K-Cups sitting on top of my microwave. The last part of verse 5 of Psalm 23 hit me. "My cup overflows."

Just last night I was bemoaning our lifestyle to my husband. I wasn't so much complaining about our circumstances as I was complaining about how other couples who didn't "follow the rules" seem to be getting to enjoy all of life's benefits that us rules followers are supposed to be enjoying. (Note: When I refer to breaking the rules, I'm not referring to sinful behavior. I'm more referring to making seemingly unwise decisions.)

You see, I had a plan for my life, and God has graciously allowed me to stick to that plan thus far. I graduated from high school with honors. I went to an accredited Bible college. I met my future husband on the 3rd day of my freshman year of college. I graduated on time and received my teaching license shortly thereafter. I got married the summer after I got married. My husband and I moved 900 miles from home so he could go to seminary. I found a teaching job while he was in seminary. He works 45+ hours a week. We found an extremely cheap apartment. We shop at Aldi to save money. We drive old cars. We go camping for our vacations. We're waiting to have children until he's done with seminary. All these things fit my definition of following the rules. Other Christian couples throw my definition of "following the rules" to the wind, and don't seemed to suffer. In fact, they sometimes seem to reap more benefits because they didn't "follow the rules." 

As I was bemoaning this to my husband. I (with his wise guidance) came to the conclusion that I have no way of knowing if these rule-breakers are really reaping more benefits than I am. I have no way of knowing if their poor choices are coming back to bite them. I have no right to judge them based on my definition of how life should go. I have no right to determine that my life plan is the only life plan for the world to follow. Instead, I should focus on my attitude towards my own life.

I am truly blessed. I have a cute and cozy little apartment. I have a handsome husband who loves and provides for me. I have the satisfaction of having a worthwhile degree. I have a real job. I get to go on grand adventures with my husband because we spend our money wisely. I have many of life's milestones to look forward to. I have the peace that I followed God's prescribed plan for MY life.

I have no right to project God's plan for my life onto others. I have no right to determine what God's plan is for another couple's life. They can participate in the joy of the Christian life just as much as I can.

My cup truly does overflow. Goodness and mercy will follow me because I have a good and merciful God, not just because I followed the rules.

Worries

One of my lifelong struggles has been with worry. I worry about EVERYTHING. I'm not really exaggerating. Just ask my poor husband. I can't even watch the TV show 24 because it makes me overanalyze situations in my life to the point where I start to panic that something drastic is going to happen.

I came by this habit honestly. My mom is the same way. Her dad is the same way. It's this vicious chain of worry. I think this all stems from worrying that we aren't doing our part. I have this drive to be absolutely certain that I have done everything in my power to accomplish everything I'm supposed to accomplish. I don't want anyone to think that I'm not doing my part. I don't want anyone to be able to accuse me of dropping the ball. Here's a great diagram from Pinterest that captures the fruitlessness of worry:

Source: stumbleupon.com via Melissa on Pinterest

The Bible has all sorts of verses about not worrying. I know those verses. I believe those verses. I know my God will care for me and will help me through whatever comes my way. I just struggle with putting those verses into practice. I feel like God wants me to do my part and he will help me when I get stuck, which should almost never happen if I do my part. That is completely warped thinking. He commands us to cast ALL our cares on him in 1 Peter 5:6-7. Or what about Proverbs 3:5, 6 which tells us to not lean on our own understanding but acknowledge him instead. Or what about Luke 12:25 which talks about how we can't even add a single hour to our lives by worrying. There are many, many more verses that cover this topic.

I guess what I need to do is continually remind myself of these verses. I need to make conscious efforts to cast all of my cares on Him because he DOES care for me. I also need to be patient and let God do the work in my heart. Only he can change my sinful ways. I can't change them myself as much as I want to. I can work on them, sure. But I can't completely eradicate them from my life without God's help.

Source: Uploaded by user via Melissa on Pinterest

Today I don't have to work thanks to Presidents' Day. I was puttering around the house enjoying my morning. I slowly settled down into my devotions because I wanted to enjoy every moment of not being rushed. I was really into reading John 11 when BOOM. I remembered that I was supposed to provide a snack sometime soon for my husband to take with him to seminary. I had no idea when it was supposed to be other than it was a Monday. I started to panic because I didn't want anyone to think that Ben had a forgetful loser for a wife. Then I started to panic even more because I knew I would have to check my work e-mail to see if it was today. I long ago made a rule for myself to not check work e-mail at home because it works me up into a tizzy. Sometimes, like today, it can't be avoided. I'm always worried that I will have to deal with upset parents who e-mail me with problems. That little innocent thought spiraled me down a path of anxiety all for nothing. It turns out I have until March 19th before I have to bring a snack. I let my worries about how I appear to others rob me of the joy I receive from taking my time to study God's word. I guess I'm using this blog post to preach to myself about my sin of worry. I think it's working...for now. 

Valentine's Day (with much laziness involved)

I was really looking forward to Valentine's Day this year. My husband didn't have to work on Valentine's Day for the first time in 3 years. Last year I brought ramen to him while we was at work and we had a poor man's Valentine's Day. This year, I was determined to make it extra special.

I was going to cook this elaborate ham dinner complete with cheesecake for dessert all by myself, and we were going to eat off of my china and perfectly starched tablecloth. Well, my crazy, hectic work schedule got in the way and I had to have Ben's help on the dinner. Then I got too tired the night before to get the cheesecake done, so I had to combine three different recipes to make a new cheesecake recipe to accommodate my laziness.

But you know what? It was still the best Valentine's Day ever. I got a beautiful heart-shaped necklace from Ben. I convinced him to watch Return to Me with David Duchovny and Minnie Driver (and he actually liked it). And to top it all off I got to cook with him, which is something I absolutely love to do since I can't multitask. We didn't use the china or fancy tablecloth, but we did have a great time together.

I thought I would share my lazy man's cheesecake recipe so others can accommodate their laziness (or lack of time) too. Here goes. I took some pictures of the process with my non-professional camera.

Easy Chocolate-Peanut Butter Cheesecake

(This is a combination of three recipes. The cheesecake is from here, the crust is from here, and the sauce is from a family recipe. The original inspiration came from here.)

Ingredients:
Graham Cracker Crust (you could also buy a crust, but making it is more fun)

• 1-1/2 cups crushed graham cracker crumbs (24 squares)
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup butter, melted

Cheese Cake

• 2 pkg. (8 oz. each) cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla
• 2 eggs

Fudge Sauce Topping (you could buy a jar of topping, but I was to lazy to stop at the store for this)

• 2 cups sugar
• 2/3 cup cocoa
• 1/3 cup flour
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 2 cups water
• 3 tbsp. butter or margarine
• 1 tsp. vanilla

Peanut Butter Topping

• 1/4 cup peanut butter (or however much you want)
• 6 crushed peanut butter cups, optional (I didn't do this because it was already rich enough)

Directions:
Graham Cracker Crust

• In a small bowl, combine the crumbs and sugar; add butter and blend well. Press onto the bottom and up the sides of an ungreased 9-in. pie plate.
• Refrigerate for 30 minutes before filling, or bake at 375° for 8-10 minutes or until crust is lightly browned. Cool on a wire rack before filling.

 Cheese Cake 

• Heat oven to 325°F.
• Beat cream cheese, sugar and vanilla with mixer until blended. Add eggs; beat just until blended.
• Pour into crust.
• Bake 40 min. or until center is almost set. Cool. Refrigerate 3 hours. 

Topping

• Combine sugar, cocoa, flour, and salt in a saucepan. Stir well to blend.
• Add the water and butter to the saucepan.
• Heat to boiling; reduce heat; cook and stir for 8 minutes.
• Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla.
• Drizzle over set cheese cake.
• Store leftovers in glass jar in the refrigerator. (I had a ton of sauce leftover for future indulgence.)
• Melt peanut butter in glass bowl in microwave.
• Drizzle over set cheese cake.
• Sprinkle crushed peanut butter cups on top, if desired.

 Remember, this can be made even simpler by replacing the fudge sauce recipe with fudge ice cream topping and the graham cracker crust with a store-bought crust. Enjoy!

 
     

Facebook Perceptions

A friend of mine posted a link to this blog on Facebook. This article is one of the reasons I decided to start this blog. Check it out: Parenthood: Moving Beyond Facebook Envy to Reality

I'm not a parent yet, but I frequently find myself becoming jealous of the lives of others based on their spiffy blogs or their crafty photography skills. Hopefully this article helps to encourage your heart!