My Jesus, I Love Thee...

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign;
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree;
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

-William R. Featherston

This song was playing through my head over and over and over again as I watched The Passion of the Christ in church tonight. I wasn't sure I wanted to go to church tonight when I heard they would be showing The Passion. I watched it my senior year in high school right after it came out on DVD. I watched it alone after my family went to bed. I have never sobbed such wretched sobs as I did that night. Watching my Savior be treated like scum of the earth ripped my heart out.

I was worried that I would start sobbing uncontrollably in church. I tried to see if it was on Netflix Instant Play so I could watch it in the privacy of my own home. It wasn't. So, I headed over to church hoping I wouldn't make a big scene. Thankfully, God helped me to be calm. 

As I was watching it, my sin struck me. Jesus endured excruciating agony and unbelievable shame because of my selfish sin. He was perfect, blameless, yet he took on my guilt and my shame. All I could think was "My Jesus, I love thee..." over and over again. 

The scenes with the devil and the devil baby really disturb me. I don't really like Mel Gibson's portrayal of him (especially since a girl with shaved eyebrows played the part), but it did cause me to want to claw out the devil's eyes every time he showed up.

Jesus had to endure a great deal of unfairness. Right now, I'm dealing with a situation that seems unfair to me. Watching Christ suffer for me reminded me that he had to deal with far worse unfairness than I ever will. None of this life matters after Christ returns. I need to stay focused on him and on leading others to him rather than focused on my own petty problems.

I'm praying this movie helps to jump-start my spiritual revival. I've been lagging behind lately. I need to keep the power of the cross at the forefront of my heart and mind.

***Sidenote: I've lost a total of 4.4 pounds!